32 Years of Wedding Bliss

David and I have been married 32 years today. I know, everyone always says, "I don't know where the time went!" I sure does fly by... people who were married that long were old!

I remember it like it was yesterday. The night before, my grandmother had a massive stroke causing paralysis on one side and made her unable to talk (she later completely recovered). I wasn't told until the morning of the wedding so my day was completely surreal. And then the rain came and came and came... HARD! So hard there were times I couldn't see across the street. Bring out the huge golf umbrellas. As my dad and I started down the aisle, the fact that my grandmother (his mother) wasn't there suddenly hit me again and tears came fast and close. My father noticed immediately and whispered to me... "let's skip!" I started to laugh and the photographer took our picture. I still smile when I look at it, because my dad was so sweet to ease my angst even in his own worry about his mother.

Later photographs taken of David and me leaving the reception (again under the big golf umbrella), saw the puddles so deep the water was running in the toes of my shoes. And it didn't stop raining until we touched down in Bermuda the next day! The honeymoon is another story! ;-)

So I guess 32 years entitles me to offer some advice to those who haven't reached that milestone or are about to embark on it. And for those who tried, and didn't make it, you did your best. Sometimes that still doesn't "cut the cake" and you have to do the right thing for you.

So here you go... it's served me well...
1. Respect - yourself and each other, opinions and all.
2. Compromise - learn to find an acceptable common ground.
3. Talk - don't keep things inside until they are at the boiling point and never go to bed angry - even if it's to say, we'll agree to discuss it in the morning.
4. Love - say you love each other every day.
5. Work - marriage is very hard work - and everyone has times when they sincerely consider walking away.

And specifically for the wives:
1. When you share your problems, men think you are looking for solutions when often all you want is a hug - so tell him.
2. Sometimes you have to tell your husband what you want, even when you expect they so obviously should know, because they don't - it's really just the way they are.
3. Tell him how much you appreciate him... often.

And specifically for husbands:
1. If your wife shares a problem, don't assume she wants a solution - ask - is it that or a hug she's looking for?
2. If your wife looks hurt/angry/frustrated/sad and it seems to be aimed at you, ask if you overlooked something she may have instinctively thought you should have realized she wanted. Tell you aren't intentionally being insensitive.
3. Tell her how much you appreciate her... often... and hug her every chance you get.

To David who isn't into blogging or reading them:
You won't see this but I want others to know too, the ups and downs have made us strong and I love you more today than I did 32 years ago when we said, "I do"... and it's a much better love. It aged well... like fine wine.

I wish everyone out there LOVE today... you all deserve it!